Stop Giving Your Spouse the Leftovers (Unless It’s Cheesecake)
FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIPS
EJ
5/8/20241 min read
You know that moment at the end of the day when you’ve been “on” for work, “on” for the kids, and “on” for the world… and then you finally see your spouse? You’re out of words, out of patience, and your emotional gas tank is running on fumes. They get what’s left — which, let’s be honest, is somewhere between “grumpy” and “I’d rather be alone with Netflix.”
But here’s the thing: your spouse shouldn’t get your leftovers. They should get your best. Not the scraps after you’ve spent all day impressing coworkers or making sure the kids have perfectly cut sandwiches (because clearly, that triangle-to-square ratio matters).
Christian counselors often remind couples that marriage is the first earthly covenant after God. That means your spouse comes before work deadlines, PTA projects, and yes, even folding the laundry (which, shockingly, will still be there tomorrow). Protecting your energy for your spouse isn’t selfish — it’s sacred. It’s an investment in the relationship that holds the rest of your life together.
This doesn’t mean quitting your job or ignoring your kids. It means finding small ways to pour into your marriage first. Maybe it’s saving a joke you heard at lunch to tell them later, scheduling 15 minutes of connection before bed, or praying together before the chaos begins. Think of it like tithing your time and attention — giving the first and best, not the last and tired.
Your marriage will thrive when your spouse knows they are still your priority, not just the person you “get around to” once everything else is done. So tomorrow, don’t save them what’s left. Save them what’s best. (And if you are saving leftovers — make it cheesecake. Always cheesecake.)